Being a Mom

Over the last few days, I've had a number of my really good friends going through tough situations in their personal lives. For each of these friends, I've listened, tried to be a source of encouragement, and prayed, hard, for thing to work out to their satisfaction. The toughest part of everything is that our satisfaction isn't always what is easiest or most pleasant in the short run. Sometimes, we have to endure difficult situations, deal with people we have a hard time handling, or confront our own actions and the actions of other people without knowing what the "right" thing to do is.

Becoming a mom has really showed me that the "right" thing is different for everybody and every situation. Thinking back to our "scary talk" with the neonatologist before Jackson was born reminds me exactly how important knowing what is "right" for me is different than what is "right" for someone else. The doctor explained to Ryan and I exactly what our odds were for having a healthy, no complications baby born anywhere from 24 to 34 weeks were and asked us "do you want us to do everything we can to save your son not knowing what the outcome may be?" At the time, Ryan and I knew that our answer was "Yes!" and looking at my perfect, wonderful, healthy son laying on his Daddy's chest right now, I know that we made the right decision. Despite the long, frustrating journey we endured in the hospital, I have no doubt that we made the right decision. That being said, becoming a mom has taught me that another person in that same hospital room could have, for whatever reason, made a different decision and that would have been "right" for his/her family.

The point is, I've learned that I can't be as judgmental as I once was. People make the best decision for themselves at the time they make it. We are influenced by many things. From the outside looking in, or even the inside looking in, we may not understand their decisions, we may not like the situation, but in the end, we must find a way to do what is best for ourselves, and now, for our little ones. Since welcoming Jackson into the world, I've become an adult and with this step comes certain responsibilities. Looking at his beautiful face, I know that I wouldn't trade a moment of being an adult for anything.

With love,
Anna